How long can you hold onto something that doesn't belong to you?

Often overlooked in much of conventional psychotherapy is the role of belief systems in the development of the self. This includes not just personal beliefs but cultural and spiritual belief systems as well, which are often at the very root of our identity. In many ways, these carry even more weight than parental authority, for they invoke the authority of the larger community in which the self has developed. This authority encourages us, in ways both subtle and overt, to unquestioningly accept the roles to which we have been assigned. This becomes our "baggage" as we struggle to move forward. When we internalize a self that is inauthentic, we are not living with integrity, and as we move through life, accommodating this inauthentic self—a self that is not genuinely our own—begins to manifest as seemingly unresolvable health complaints, exhaustion, and depression.

We all contain within us all of the resources that we need to lead productive and happy lives. Learning to access these resources can be a transformative journey. By encouraging us to identify the positive intentions behind our familiar patterns of behavior, hypnosis and coaching provide structures in which we can access these resources in ways that are often surprising and unexpected.

The goal of therapy is to make us whole and to allow us to accept all of the facets of ourselves in a non-judgemental way. In every behavior that is undesirable or destructive, there is always a positive intention. By identifying the underlying meaning of the behavior and the purpose it is really serving, we can replace the tools that we are using—the negative behavior—and substitute a more constructive behavior that will serve us better in achieving our desires and meeting our needs. By reframing negative experiences, we can free ourselves from the process of getting caught in familiar cycles and limiting patterns.

When the foundations upon which the self has been built can be demystified, much of what constitutes this self—familiar patterns of being, feeling, responding, and framing—can be recognized as ingrained habit. This is the first step towards giving ourselves permission to create ourselves anew, moving from a place of indecision to a place of action, and claiming a more authentic self.

Both coaching and hypnosis enhance the discovery of this authentic self by providing clients with a sense of mastery in the present. By helping to identify problems, clarify desires, set goals, and change behavior, both hypnosis and coaching can help alter the parameters of the developing self in the therapeutic alliance.